Please don't leave me
by 555emms
Summary: Oneshot. Adam has been called to Christa's death bed to finally say goodbye to the 86 year old woman, who he has come to love over the years.   This story would make more sense if you have read 'Death's door' OR 'The Guide to Becoming Human'


**Oneshot. I missed writing. **_**How to be a Vampire **_**will be released at the beginning of June. This oneshot would make more sense if you have read my other fanfiction's for Becoming Human, 'Death's door' and 'The Guide to Becoming Human'**

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><p>She looked so small. So frail. Adam gripped at Celia's hand, swallowing hard, as they approached a woman lying in a blue sheeted bed. It was hard to look her, she seemed so ill. Machines surrounded the lady, a soft beep played in the background. Adam was rung by the hospital, as he was listed as a close contact, apart from her three children. They said she was going. Not that she was dying, just 'going'. He was expecting this day to come for a while, ever since she had the heart attack. But now that it was here…his stomach groaned nervously as he eventually reached the bed. Christa lay there, eyes shut, pale as snow. He glanced at the machine, showing her heat rate. The lines gently went up and down, he could sense it getting slower and slower. Celia let go of Adam's hand so it hung loosely by his side.<p>

'I will give you some alone time'

He nodded as Celia walked out of the bland room. Adam stared at the old woman. She looked…different. He had visited her so many times before but now he had the knowledge this was going to be the last time, guilt soared through him. The last couple of years he had forgotten about her, thought she didn't want his help. Ever since Tom was murdered, she had relied on her children to give her the happiness she needed. Adam felt so angry at himself for not being there more. Caring for her. He slid his hand into his jacket pocket, fumbling with the scrunched up note he had written earlier. Adam scraped the seat from the corner of the room and pulled it next to the bed, close to her head. He sat there for a while, just listening to her breathe, her chest rising and falling. It was at that moment that he realised that he had taken her for granted. All these years, he was so used to her just _being _there. Now that she was going everything will change.

Her eyes flickered open slowly and she stared at the ceiling, unmoving.

'Christa?'

Adam sat up straight, leaning towards her. He repeated it again when she didn't reply.

'Christa?'

Her head turned slowly until her eyes rested upon his face. She looked confused for a moment, until recognition hit, and her thin lips curled into a small smile.

'What are you doing here?'

Adam chuckled sadly and placed his hand on the edge of the bed.

'What do you think?'

Christa breathed out heavily and stared into his eyes.

'Come to see me off?'

Adam bit his lip, swallowing again to stop himself from balling like a baby. Christa nodded towards the piece of paper in his hand.

'What's that?'

He glanced down at the note and shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

'I wrote something for you'

She closed her eyes and smiled again, placing her hand on his.

'Read it to me'

'okay'

He studied her face for a moment, realising that behind the joyful mask she was putting on, there was sadness. Knowing that her time on earth was finally coming to an end. It ached inside of him, thinking that he would never have that feeling. Never feel like he has accomplished something in life, because he wasn't alive. He was just _existing. _A monster that would be there, in the shadows, forever.

'It's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you. I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had, but I can't, because I know you won't come after me and that's what hurts the most. Someone can walk into your life and it is not until after they walk out that you realize that they were even there. Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult'

Adam's eyes blurred over as his voice cracked half way through. There wasn't any point trying to hide it now. Tears overflowed and ran down his cheeks as he continued to read.

'Forgive me for everything I did to hurt you. It's only looking back at it now that I see how awful it was, how much I damaged you. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back and fix my mistakes, Christa. I wish I could change the past'

His lip trembled as a tear dropped onto the piece of paper, making the ink spread slowly. Christa gently squeezed his hand reassuringly.

'Adam' she whispered to him, her face serious.

He looked up to her, the salty taste of his tears lingering in his mouth.

'I wouldn't change anything for the world'

A tear fell from her cheek onto the side of her pillow, leaving a small mark. Adam gripped at her hand right up the moment her eyes began to shut, her breathing slowed, her smile faded and her grasp weakened. The sound from the machine flat lining pierced the air. She was gone.

Adam's whole body shook violently as he stared at her. His best friend. The girl he loved.

'No…' he stood up from the seat, gazing at the machine dumbly.

'You can't leave Christa'

He gently shook her arm, tears still streaming down his face.

'Please, no, Christa!'

Adam started to sob as the machine continued to make the sharp noise, filling the room.

'NO!'

He shouted, pleaded, as nurses and doctors ran into the room, pushing him away. A young female told him that she was sorry, he needed to leave while they sorted her out.

Adam knew she wasn't sorry. She barely knew her.

He stumbled backwards, bumping into a wall and collapsing onto the floor in devastation.

It all seemed like a dream. It wasn't really happening. He prayed that he wasn't awake, this wasn't real. He wasn't ready for her to go. Not yet. He cried angrily as the doctors covered up her body, knowing there was nothing more they could do to bring her back.

A sudden light flooded over Adam. He turned around, head spinning, eyes stinging. The light was blinding, but he soon adjusted to see a hand was resting on his shoulder.

She was crouching in front of a white door, gazing intently back at him. They held eye contact for a moment, before she broke away and stood up.

He glanced up at the door. There was intricate detailing of wood, swirling gracefully in circles, although a bit rough around the edges. It described her in every way.

'This isn't goodbye, Adam. We'll see each other again'

She smiled and hesitated slightly before stepping forward.

'Wait'

Christa turned to face him, her thin, wrinkled face clearly exhausted from life.

'You don't have to go'

Adam walked towards her. It was the only thing he wanted right now, for her to stay.

She shook her head, eyes unfocused and blurred from tears.

'It's my time. I have to'

'Please' he pleaded to her, exasperated. Adam took hold of her hand, but she gently pulled away.

'You have to let go'

'But I don't want to! I love you!'

She stared at the ground. He could have sworn a tear fell to the floor, splashing silently.

'I'm 86, Adam'

Nothing hurts more than the truth. Especially when it is said to you by the one you love.

'I don't care' Adam replied softly.

'I want to go'

His shoulders sagged with defeat. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw together.

'I need you'

Christa moved closer towards the door.

'I know. But sometimes that's not enough'

He looked up at her, realizing he was being selfish. She had been waiting for her door for years now, and he was preventing her from what she really wanted to do. Adam nodded, as if he was giving his approval.

'Promise me something'

'always'

'Don't be a knob towards Celia'

The smallest smile played across his lips as he watched Christa walk into the light, away from him. Adam told himself that it was what she wanted, to leave. She never wanted to live forever. And now she was gone, neither did he.

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><p><em><strong>"When you are in love and you get hurt, it's like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar<strong>_**. **_**It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a life time**_**. **

**_There is a first time for everything...and a last time"_**


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